Glastonbury Festival in 100 bin bags Day 4

29 Jun


4. White bags

As anyone who has ever tried to slip a paper plate into a cheap condom will tell you, ‘it’s a thankless task’. The white biodegradable bags we have are similarly exempt from gracias. A mere look the wrong way and the bags slash open to spew soggy chips and mushy peas over a hardworking bin man’s wellies. Bio – only by definition in the world of bag magnates, degradable – as is anyone using one, a puff of wind (and there’s plenty here) and a bag is slack and gaping like Jagger’s lips. By the way, one song today – ‘Satisfaction’  blaring from a security guard’s boom box this lunchtime. Last night’s bands (it is a music festival after all), Foals and Portishead were much as I expected. Foals – extensive paper beer cups everywhere, Portishead – many cans of various brews and a bottle of port underfoot. Today’s shift brought the first sighting of a poo not properly pooed in place. As instructed, the finder alerted Gonzo who donned special purple gloves to isolate the excrement. Purple gloves, that’s why I’m not a supervisor, I had enough trouble with the purple route getting here let alone human waste critical finger wear. Anyway, I’m off to see Keef in the sun, an inspiration in some weird way, quite the role model and his face looks like a crumpled bin bag.

One Response to “Glastonbury Festival in 100 bin bags Day 4”

  1. doris17 29th Jun 2013 at 3:19 pm #

    have you thought of printing these as a lasting historical memoir of the festival, lasting longer than memories of the festival. There is something to be said by someone cleverer than me about the writing lasting longer than the rubbish, or maybe visa versa, and than the songs.

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